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|Posted on March 6, 2022 at 11:30 PM||comments (3799)|
What Next? (Warning some F words used in this article!)
Earlier this year, I adopted the word “Faith” for 2022. Not faith in anything particular, but faith that things in the world would work out, and somehow, we would find a way to help those that have suffered these past few years, and the abusive bullies that lead our nations would disappear. Faith that we would elect wholehearted leaders with dignity and compassion, with real skills, to take action and look after people and the planet…. And then, a fucking war happened.
At the moment I feel like I’m living in the movie Don’t Look Up (link below). I’m screaming and shouting for people to take notice and no one is listening, as it’s easier to let billionaires and weak leaders make decisions about what’s real and what isn’t. As I sit at my dining table with the kids, I imagine the final scene of the movie and pray to “whoever” that those “experts” at NATO don’t fuck this up. I made the mistake of watching Brian Toon demonstrate in his TEDx Talk how any of the current nuclear weapons being boasted about could destroy us all (link below).
I’ve stood in Red Square in Moscow. I’ve stood in Freedom Square in Kharkiv. I’ve spent weeks of my time walking the streets of Kiev. I’ve worked in many cities in Ukraine, and had enjoyable and memorable experiences in all of them. I’ve met people my age in Ukraine, whose parents died of radiation poison after Chernobyl. I’ve stood in almost every major town square in Europe, Asia and Australia. I’m grateful for my knowledge of the towns, the infrastructure as well as people. I’m also grateful that I’ve some personal insights into the B.S. that goes on in major institutions and how toxic environments and cover-ups lead to chaos. Right now, we have major chaos! It looked bad before, but now it is literally exploding.
I became aware some years ago that I have a tendency towards “worst- case scenario thinking/bias”. Rather than see that as a flaw, I’m now grateful for it. It’s helped me in my life many times and allowed me to imagine the worst thing that could happen and take preventative actions ahead of time, both personally and professionally. I can’t see the future, but I can see all the possibilities that could go wrong and quickly make decisions and take actions. So, when I see dithering, inaction and B.S. I get pretty pissed off, pretty quickly.
We cannot turn a blind eye to suffering any longer. We cannot vote for toxic liars and expect anything other than chaos. We cannot ignore global warming, big pharma, energy giants and big banks exploiting entire nations and governments. Prior to the last Australian election Greenpeace made a documentary on Scott Morrison’s rise to power, who was in his team and funding him… It was all about Coal (link below).
This past year we see cries of foul play from those that recognise the Qld Premier and her father are linked to gene harvesting and pharma (links below). Why is this important? Because they control the narrative of what we see and what happens in our country, and they make a lot of money. Scott Morrison did not get better at his job after the Bush Fires. His PR team got better at covering his arse. Grace Tame's face said it all!
So, who will benefit from this War as so many nations have elections in 2022? Well, many nations are now going to reinvest in weapons and military equipment according to recent reports. This feels like another wave of industry rising to power. I wonder who will be their puppets?
Could we not divest in Coal, Divest in Chaos and Divest in Cover Ups? Perhaps Divesting instead of Investing is the way forward…
I’ve enjoyed air-conditioning this week while worrying about climate change. I’ve spoilt my kids with good food and toys, and as much of my time as possible as I’m compensating for all those mums who are stuck in bunkers or separated from their kids. I get annoyed at my kids for moaning about what I’ve made for dinner and having meltdowns about plastic pieces of rubbish they got in a party bag, while so many families have lost everything this week in war and flood. I’m hugging them extra tight and feeling so blessed to see their faces. Yet spending too much time on my laptop and telephone according to them. I’m a total fucking hypocrite. But, I’m a very self-conscious hypocrite.
I don’t have all, or even any of the answers, but when I hear the “build back better” slogan from the mouths of so many leaders who are part of the chaos, I start to feel very jittery… build WHAT back better? Inefficiency, inaction, inhumane conditions?
I’m totally fucked off, and not afraid to say it.
- I’m fucked off for all those who have been fucked over the past few years by poor management of a global pandemic.
- I’m fucked off about the small beautiful islands being lost to rising seas.
- I’m fucked off that the town I spent my university days in, Lismore, was completely under water this week.
- I’m fucked off about high costs of energy in every form, while the sun burns me to a crisp.
- I’m fucked off that we debate water security, build more dams that destroy ecosystems, but solar farms lay abandoned.
- I’m fucked off about the many victims of domestic violence and foetal alcohol syndrome which affects so many, but we sell so much alcohol so cheaply and joke about it.
- I’m fucked off that in the town where I currently live, homelessness is a real problem, but we should all be excited about our “growing” city.
- I’m fucked off that those bullies who lie, persecute and murder innocent people get away with it.
I guess I’m fucked off about everything, really. This feeling started about two months ago when schools could not return at the start of the year, but we could host an international tennis tournament and many other events around the country. But Novak was the villain!?! This did not feel right. Things are not feeling right…
We are about to have another global movement of refugees. Mostly white ones from Europe this time. I’m pretty sure they won’t be perishing at sea in make-shift boats and locked up for years unprocessed in appalling conditions. Europe’s largest human rights conference was blocked by Russia according to the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE). Does anyone really want peace, or is there too much to lose if we have peace?
I will not wait around to see what this #warinukraine might bring. I’ve already imagined the worst-case scenario, and I’m going to talk about it in the hope, and faith, that others will too. And as we look forward, we can take a breathe, consider our self-aware hypocrisy, and perhaps decide that those that make decision on our behalf, and invest our money, do so with integrity, compassion and genuine regard for humanity before it’s too late. Or else, What Next?
Don’t Look Up: https://www.netflix.com/au/title/81252357
I've studied nuclear war for 35 years - you should be worried. Brian Toon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7hOpT0lPGI
Dirty Power: Big Coal’s network of influence over the Australian coalition government: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtKFbXoQ6Q
Anna and Pharma: https://www.uq.edu.au/.../premier-announces-queensland...
More Weapons on the way:
#whatnext #warinukraine #nuclearwar #nato #CloseTheSky #peace
|Posted on March 1, 2022 at 10:30 PM||comments (411)|
In this article for Kiddipedia I discuss ways we can overcome stagnation in our life.
I share my "Top 5 Tips to Aerate our Life," if we are stagnating in one or more areas.
|Posted on February 11, 2022 at 11:45 PM||comments (510)|
No-one is immune to suffering, set-backs, trauma, grief or pain. This is the reality of life, like Death and Taxes, they can’t be denied. Like most people I’ve had my fair share of each. I’ve also made unhealthy decisions, neglected my health, dismissed my well-being and wallowed in pain. A few short years ago I decided to get some new perspective on my hurts, trauma, pain and grief, and to shift the focus from anxiety to appreciation.
I decided to look at the blessings in my life and to appreciate all the lessons I’ve been given which has made me the person I am today. The person I am today is confident, fearless, grateful, hard-working, kind, compassionate and more peaceful. Of course, I have my moments of feeling fed up, frustrated and wishing life was more fun. But on the whole, I’ve made a deal with myself to embrace the highs and lows of life and to look at everything as an opportunity to grow and discover as much as I can about myself and others.
A friend of mine has an expression which says; “I wonder what will be placed upon my path today to bring me to a greater understanding of self and others.”. I’ve used his mantra in my life to rationalise difficult people and challenging situations.
Here some examples to flip from Grief to Gratitude, Anxiety to Appreciation and Thankless to Thankful.
1. As I grieve the loss of one of my babies I can be grateful that in her sacrifice her twin sister survived.
2. Uncertainty and Worry for what may happen leads to Anxiety. Instead of suffering with Worry, I choose Wonder. “I WONDER what will happen today!”
3. Childhood Trauma raises its head at some stage in our life. I’m thankful my childhood trauma has enabled me to be strong, independent and fearless.
4. Choosing to be grateful for good health and a safe place to sleep is a luxury that many people in the world do not have.
5. Financial worries and set backs are not so stressful when we recognise that help, support and assistance is available.
I choose to start and end each day with Gratitude. I wake in the morning and before I open my eyes I whisper to myself, “I’m grateful I can hear the birds singing; I have a comfortable bed to sleep in; clothes to wear; and I have coffee and food to eat.”
Before I fall asleep, I express gratitude for health and those that love me. “I’m grateful for a healthy body, loving heart and brilliant mind!”
Of course, there are days that my body is less healthy, my heart is sad, and my mind is busy and overwhelmed. BUT, expressing gratitude to myself helps me sleep better. And when I sleep, I rest, digest and repair myself ready to start a new day with Wonder.
It takes practise to accept Gratitude as a light that leads away from pain and anxiety. Life is so busy with so much uncertainty, and each day brings new challenges and life changing moments.
Embracing Uncertainty is central to this shift, and as I came to this realisation for myself I wrote a poem to express my new relationship with Anxiety (living in the future) and Depression (living in the past).
Our suffering often ends up being the gift that helps someone else. Next to our deepest pain lays our greatest gift. But we can’t use the gift if we don’t learn from the pain. That profound revelation has enabled me to use my pain to help others which is a gift that keeps on giving.
You can practise embracing your sufferings and being grateful for your lessons and connect with others who are doing the same. Nearby is someone just like you, and if you need some new perspective on your life then you can reach out for help and support.
Love and Health,
|Posted on February 11, 2022 at 11:30 PM||comments (587)|
|Posted on February 11, 2022 at 11:25 PM||comments (539)|
I love writing for Connect Magazine as it touches members of our community from around the region and brings wisdom and wellness to so many.
This Article called Freedom from Doom and Gloom talks about Inner Peace and enjoying an abundance of free stuff all around us.
|Posted on January 31, 2022 at 8:00 PM||comments (1689)|
It’s Wellness Wednesday and as I sit watching my kids play under the sprinkler, I’m both joyful and heavy of heart.
The Joy comes from seeing two sisters who are playful and fun, and the heavy heart comes from the sadness that so many friends, and friends of friends, are no longer with us to see their kids play.
At 46, I feel too young to know so many deceased people in my age group and it’s weighing heavily on my soul. The sadness I feel is nothing compared to the sadness of those experiencing it first-hand and it’s partly their sadness I’m processing as opposed to my own.
The other challenge is the feeling of helplessness, in finding a meaningful way to support the person/s. It’s easy to feel that you are not doing enough to help someone, and then by default feel you are bugging them by being there.
I found this article useful as a guide to help me check my list of concerns about how to help, and if I’m doing the right things at the right time.
A quote on the following blog is true for me and many others; “Here’s the thing: the emotions of others are contagious. If our empathetic “immune system” isn’t robust, then the boundaries between ourselves and those we serve may become very blurry. And at some point, we may not be able to feel the difference between what someone else is experiencing and what is happening in our own bodies. We feel it all.”
I never NOT want to be an Empath, because it leads to denial of others; We end up dismissing their needs, minimising their pain, becoming rigid in our thinking, silencing their stories, withdrawing from people, and making unethical decisions.
Hmmmm… If only more Leaders were Empaths!!!
So, I’m going to sit uncomfortably in my empathetic chair as long as I need to, suffering with sadness, shock, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance because I don’t actually want to consider the alternative.
Sending you love and wishing you good health.
|Posted on January 31, 2022 at 7:55 PM||comments (713)|
With the delayed start to the school year and the juggle of working while raising kids I share some insights on how to make the most of your year by starting your planning in February!
And my top 5 tips for working mums to thrive this year.
|Posted on January 31, 2022 at 7:50 PM||comments (564)|
|Posted on January 12, 2022 at 7:35 PM||comments (639)|
There are moments in life when you will decide enough is enough.
It may be a job, relationship, hangovers, smoking, being a doormat or not taking care of yourself.
Usually, when we have reached the end of our tether, or, our health is in crisis, we make a decision that changes our destiny. We sometimes call this an awakening, an epiphany, a wake-up call.
Whatever you want to call it, sometimes in life, that feeling of “ENOUGH” is not to be ignored.
There are times, however, when, despite the feeling, we have to; suck it up, not cut off our nose to spite our face, think about the big picture, be strategic or grin and bill it!
“Grin and Bill It,” is a favourite expression of mine I learned in the UK many years ago working with a dear friend. We had a challenging project to deliver with lots of egos and we took all the crap and sent in our invoice, knowing that this would be over soon. We called it; “Grin and Bill It!” I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself at times.
"I’ve had a few enough is enough moments in life, and I’ve also had to suck it up many times."
Three years ago, I decided enough was enough when my health was failing and I had a wake-up call whilst dressing my eldest daughter for her first day of Kindy. I’m reminded of this moment as I dressed my youngest in her Kindy uniform this week as we practised getting ready for school. In that moment three years ago, I decided I could not carry on with life feeling as I did. If I didn’t change something, I would not be around to see them finish school. This feeling was an intense epiphany, like a freight train bearing down on me and I could stay on the track or jump off the edge.
I overhauled my health and my life in the months that followed, and I’m so glad I had that epiphany.
So, what is the trick to knowing when to suck it up, and when to call time?
Here are five things to help you understand if it really is enough, or you owe it to yourself to stick it out?
1. Rationalise the Costs.
Our decisions have costs associated with them, whether we like it, or not. Not necessarily monetary, but time, effort, and so on. Understanding the costs associated with your choices and decisions will help you be more strategic in your decision making. Your work-life, home-life and relationships are part of the cost analysis. Sometimes the financial incentive to do something doesn’t make up for the added stress, responsibility and life that you will lose. On the other hand, if you have a goal that you desire to achieve, and you are working towards something, you will make sense of your sacrifice and know that the short-term pain for long-term gain may actually be worth it.
Here’s 3 practical examples;
• I once worked 7 weeks straight without a day off in order to have the money to renovate my home. I sold the home a few years later and made a good profit.
• I once took a job that was much lower in salary and skill-set than my previous role, so that I could work within myself and progress in other areas of my life.
• I gave up my gym membership, having my nails done and my house cleaned so I could use the money to send my kids to the school we chose. I rarely miss the three things I’ve given up, seeing my kids happy and safe is reward enough.
2. Recognise the impact on your Health.
Your health is the most important thing. Don’t compromise it, negotiate it away or take it for granted. As a 46-year-old, I’ve learned a few hard lessons. Here is what I know, and have seen in others.
In our teens and 20s, our bodies are still young and fairly resilient and we lead a more active social life. In our late 20s and 30s, we progress more in our career, start having a family and probably earn more money. We then become more sedentary; we eat more, drink more and sit more. In our 40s, this becomes an issue as we develop typical middle-aged health problems, possibly even heart attacks and other serious conditions. Once we’ve reached that point, it’s harder to go back, as our bodies are not as resilient. We then spend our time and money being treated and taking medication. If you see yourself headed towards this, then you need a wake-up call sooner rather than later. Don’t let your “enough is enough moment” be in a Dr’s waiting room.
3. Compromising your Integrity.
We each have a set of values, and hopefully, a moral compass. If your work, relationships or social circle compromises your integrity, then it’s probably time to think about calling time, before enough really becomes enough. Your integrity is important for your well-being and we often ignore our integrity, living and working to the values of others at the expense of ourselves. Over time, your compromise affects you physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. You may have a bitter pill to swallow, or be constantly wearing a mask, not showing your true self. Repeatedly compromising your integrity can make you become very sick. When in doubt, refer to number 1, Rationalise the Cost.
4. Safety and Security.
Your safety and that of your family is primary and if you feel it is compromised in any way, then it’s time to call enough. Don’t wait around for one more apology or to be rescued. Ask yourself; “Is this safe?” If you have doubts, then there is no doubt.
A good reputation is important, and I don’t mean in an old fashioned, prudish way. There’s an expression which says; "You are only as good as your last job". And also, as a working parent you have an enormous sphere of influence, and it’s often overlooked as a consideration. If your reputation (being a good role-model) is important to you, then it’s going to feature high on your “enough is enough” radar. Aligning and associating yourself with causes, people or work, who do not care about your reputation (or others), is not doing you any favours in the long run. When in doubt, refer to number 3, Compromising your integrity.
Here are some other valuable things I’ve learned;
• Sometimes the hardest things end up being the most rewarding.
• Personal growth sits way outside our comfort zone.
• All beginnings are hard.
• Sometimes you need to put on your big girls’ pants and face the music or stand up for yourself.
• If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.
All of this is so important, but sometimes you will feel desperate and you may not have many options or choices available and you, and you have to make it work. In these moments, just know that a lot can change very quickly and in a few months or years down the track you will look back and think, “Wow, that was so hard but I’m in a totally different place right now.”
- Sometimes you will cut off your nose to spite your face!
- Sometimes you will Suck It Up.
- And Sometimes you will pick up your purse and just go home, knowing that there is nothing more you can do.
There is nothing more empowering than picking up your purse and saying, “Let me go home and think about things!”
As you grow, learn and make mistakes, your tolerance will change, as will your experience and expectations.
Enough may not come soon enough sometimes. And in other instances, you can never have enough.
Just be considerate to yourself, practise self-awareness, consider the five points above and never feel alone.
Nearby is someone else just like you!
Love and Health,
|Posted on December 27, 2021 at 9:45 PM||comments (1113)|
Have you heard the term; “Everything in Moderation.”?
Forget it, wipe it off your subconscious. It’s a myth and it’s killing us.
We were once told that Smoking was good for us. Moderation is NOT good for us.
The word Moderation comes from; moderacioun, early 15c; “quality of being moderate or temperate; a lessening of rigor or severity.”
The state or an instance of being moderate; mildness; balance. Not excessive in amount, intensity, quality.
At school I got mostly B’s a couple of A’s and on the odd occasion some C’s and D’s. Physics, I suck at physics. I don’t understand what I can’t see… plus it was really boring, taught by people who did not make it fun or exciting.
Health is like that. If it’s boring, unexciting and taught by people who are not good at sharing ideas, then you won’t take to it. You will make the wrong choices, believe the advertising and live with the idea that moderation is ok.
When it comes to my health and well-being, I want to be an A-student, (B+ on my holidays). Moderation means average (think just passing with a C). It means just getting by, not too excessive.
So as the instances of obesity, cancer, anxiety, depression and ADHD continue to rise and we continue our idea of moderation, we perpetuate a myth that is eroding society and destroying the well-being of the mainstream population.
I believe the idea of everything in moderation is just another clever marketing campaign designed to help us think we can have whatever we want most of the time, and we will be OK.
So, what is the opposite of Moderation? Well, according to a dictionary, it’s Extremism…
But the connotations of that word are linked with some terrible acts, so I want to propose the word Optimal instead.
Search: Optimal versus Moderate and see what you find!
The definition of Optimal is; best or most favourable; “seeking the optimal solution.”
If we have a mindset of Optimising our health versus having Moderate health, many of our worries and diseases could be managed far more cheaply and effectively.
So, what does Optimal Health look like? How do we Optimise our Health?
We start with the idea that we make predominately good decisions.
- We look at ways to reduce toxicity; in our diet, relationships and environment (home, work, neighbourhood).
- We consider our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health when making choices.
- We understand the physiological effects of stress on our body.
- We may indulge, yes, but those days are far less than the days we don’t.
- We consider the foods that we eat not in terms of the five food groups, but in terms of eating the rainbow with a variety of fresh foods with no labels.
- We consider the full impact of what we eat and drink in terms of our physical health (weight), gut health (microbiome) and mental health (food & drinks which wreak havoc on our neurotransmitters and ability to sleep well).
- We bend, stretch and move daily as we understand that our sedentary life-style is killing us. “Use it or lose it.”
- We recognise that we are role-models, and as we lean on convenience, make poor choices, sit too much, eat too much, drink too much and work too much, we are saying to our kids that it’s OK!
- We educate ourselves on the various aspects of health and well-being so that we can proactively optimise our health rather than reactively treat our health. “If you don’t make time for Wellness, you have to make time for Illness!”
It’s not about positive body image versus poor body image, Fat versus Fit. It’s about understanding that we are responsible for our health and well-being and we can feel good on the inside and out, if we have an optimal and holistic approach to our health. And that is the message we should be sharing with the next generation.
The fundamental thing is that it’s so basic it’s almost boring!
So, the trick is to make it exciting, fun an adventure, and learn from a variety of stimulating and fun people. And listen to your Gut… It’s your second brain, and it’s sending you all kinds of messages all the time.
Take some time to digest what I’ve said. I really want people to start optimising their health.
All the information you need to do this is out there, free to consume and abundantly fresh.
You can join my Online Wellness School to educate yourself and hear from a variety of experts on health and well-being.
Love and Health,