I love writing for Connect Magazine as it touches members of our community from around the region and brings wisdom and wellness to so many.

https://www.facebook.com/ConnectMagazineNorthQueensland

This Article called Freedom from Doom and Gloom talks about Inner Peace and enjoying an abundance of free stuff all around us.

It’s Wellness Wednesday and as I sit watching my kids play under the sprinkler, I’m both joyful and heavy of heart.

The Joy comes from seeing two sisters who are playful and fun, and the heavy heart comes from the sadness that so many friends, and friends of friends, are no longer with us to see their kids play.

At 46, I feel too young to know so many deceased people in my age group and it’s weighing heavily on my soul. The sadness I feel is nothing compared to the sadness of those experiencing it first-hand and it’s partly their sadness I’m processing as opposed to my own.

The other challenge is the feeling of helplessness, in finding a meaningful way to support the person/s. It’s easy to feel that you are not doing enough to help someone, and then by default feel you are bugging them by being there.

I found this article useful as a guide to help me check my list of concerns about how to help, and if I’m doing the right things at the right time.

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/grief/related/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend/

A quote on the following blog is true for me and many others; “Here’s the thing: the emotions of others are contagious. If our empathetic “immune system” isn’t robust, then the boundaries between ourselves and those we serve may become very blurry. And at some point, we may not be able to feel the difference between what someone else is experiencing and what is happening in our own bodies. We feel it all.”

https://jessicadolce.com/the-dark-side-of-empathy-when-too-much-turns-into-none/

I never NOT want to be an Empath, because it leads to denial of others; We end up dismissing their needs, minimising their pain, becoming rigid in our thinking, silencing their stories, withdrawing from people, and making unethical decisions.

Hmmmm… If only more Leaders were Empaths!!!

So, I’m going to sit uncomfortably in my empathetic chair as long as I need to, suffering with sadness, shock, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance because I don’t actually want to consider the alternative.

Sending you love and wishing you good health.

Krissy x

With the delayed start to the school year and the juggle of working while raising kids I share some insights on how to make the most of your year by starting your planning in February!

And my top 5 tips for working mums to thrive this year.

https://kiddipedia.com.au/a-later-start-to-the-year/

There are moments in life when you will decide enough is enough.

It may be a job, relationship, hangovers, smoking, being a doormat or not taking care of yourself.

Usually, when we have reached the end of our tether, or, our health is in crisis, we make a decision that changes our destiny. We sometimes call this an awakening, an epiphany, a wake-up call.

Whatever you want to call it, sometimes in life, that feeling of “ENOUGH” is not to be ignored.

There are times, however, when, despite the feeling, we have to; suck it up, not cut off our nose to spite our face, think about the big picture, be strategic or grin and bill it!

“Grin and Bill It,” is a favourite expression of mine I learned in the UK many years ago working with a dear friend. We had a challenging project to deliver with lots of egos and we took all the crap and sent in our invoice, knowing that this would be over soon. We called it; “Grin and Bill It!” I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself at times.

"I’ve had a few enough is enough moments in life, and I’ve also had to suck it up many times."

Three years ago, I decided enough was enough when my health was failing and I had a wake-up call whilst dressing my eldest daughter for her first day of Kindy. I’m reminded of this moment as I dressed my youngest in her Kindy uniform this week as we practised getting ready for school. In that moment three years ago, I decided I could not carry on with life feeling as I did. If I didn’t change something, I would not be around to see them finish school. This feeling was an intense epiphany, like a freight train bearing down on me and I could stay on the track or jump off the edge.

I overhauled my health and my life in the months that followed, and I’m so glad I had that epiphany.

So, what is the trick to knowing when to suck it up, and when to call time?

Here are five things to help you understand if it really is enough, or you owe it to yourself to stick it out?

1. Rationalise the Costs.

Our decisions have costs associated with them, whether we like it, or not. Not necessarily monetary, but time, effort, and so on. Understanding the costs associated with your choices and decisions will help you be more strategic in your decision making. Your work-life, home-life and relationships are part of the cost analysis. Sometimes the financial incentive to do something doesn’t make up for the added stress, responsibility and life that you will lose. On the other hand, if you have a goal that you desire to achieve, and you are working towards something, you will make sense of your sacrifice and know that the short-term pain for long-term gain may actually be worth it.

Here’s 3 practical examples;

• I once worked 7 weeks straight without a day off in order to have the money to renovate my home. I sold the home a few years later and made a good profit.

• I once took a job that was much lower in salary and skill-set than my previous role, so that I could work within myself and progress in other areas of my life.

• I gave up my gym membership, having my nails done and my house cleaned so I could use the money to send my kids to the school we chose. I rarely miss the three things I’ve given up, seeing my kids happy and safe is reward enough.

 2. Recognise the impact on your Health.

Your health is the most important thing. Don’t compromise it, negotiate it away or take it for granted. As a 46-year-old, I’ve learned a few hard lessons. Here is what I know, and have seen in others.

In our teens and 20s, our bodies are still young and fairly resilient and we lead a more active social life. In our late 20s and 30s, we progress more in our career, start having a family and probably earn more money. We then become more sedentary; we eat more, drink more and sit more. In our 40s, this becomes an issue as we develop typical middle-aged health problems, possibly even heart attacks and other serious conditions. Once we’ve reached that point, it’s harder to go back, as our bodies are not as resilient. We then spend our time and money being treated and taking medication. If you see yourself headed towards this, then you need a wake-up call sooner rather than later. Don’t let your “enough is enough moment” be in a Dr’s waiting room.

3. Compromising your Integrity.

We each have a set of values, and hopefully, a moral compass. If your work, relationships or social circle compromises your integrity, then it’s probably time to think about calling time, before enough really becomes enough. Your integrity is important for your well-being and we often ignore our integrity, living and working to the values of others at the expense of ourselves. Over time, your compromise affects you physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. You may have a bitter pill to swallow, or be constantly wearing a mask, not showing your true self. Repeatedly compromising your integrity can make you become very sick. When in doubt, refer to number 1, Rationalise the Cost.

4. Safety and Security.

Your safety and that of your family is primary and if you feel it is compromised in any way, then it’s time to call enough. Don’t wait around for one more apology or to be rescued. Ask yourself; “Is this safe?” If you have doubts, then there is no doubt.

5. Reputation

A good reputation is important, and I don’t mean in an old fashioned, prudish way. There’s an expression which says; "You are only as good as your last job". And also, as a working parent you have an enormous sphere of influence, and it’s often overlooked as a consideration. If your reputation (being a good role-model) is important to you, then it’s going to feature high on your “enough is enough” radar. Aligning and associating yourself with causes, people or work, who do not care about your reputation (or others), is not doing you any favours in the long run. When in doubt, refer to number 3, Compromising your integrity.

Here are some other valuable things I’ve learned;

• Sometimes the hardest things end up being the most rewarding.

• Personal growth sits way outside our comfort zone.

• All beginnings are hard.

• Sometimes you need to put on your big girls’ pants and face the music or stand up for yourself.

• If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.

All of this is so important, but sometimes you will feel desperate and you may not have many options or choices available and you, and you have to make it work. In these moments, just know that a lot can change very quickly and in a few months or years down the track you will look back and think, “Wow, that was so hard but I’m in a totally different place right now.”

• Sometimes you will cut off your nose to spite your face!
• Sometimes you will Suck It Up.
• And Sometimes you will pick up your purse and just go home, knowing that there is nothing more you can do.

There is nothing more empowering than picking up your purse and saying, “Let me go home and think about things!”

As you grow, learn and make mistakes, your tolerance will change, as will your experience and expectations.

Enough may not come soon enough sometimes. And in other instances, you can never have enough.

Just be considerate to yourself, practise self-awareness, consider the five points above and never feel alone.

Nearby is someone else just like you!

Love and Health,

Krissy x

Have you heard the term; “Everything in Moderation.”?

Forget it, wipe it off your subconscious. It’s a myth and it’s killing us.

We were once told that Smoking was good for us. Moderation is NOT good for us.

The word Moderation comes from; moderacioun, early 15c; “quality of being moderate or temperate; a lessening of rigor or severity.”

and

The state or an instance of being moderate; mildness; balance. Not excessive in amount, intensity, quality.

At school I got mostly B’s a couple of A’s and on the odd occasion some C’s and D’s. Physics, I suck at physics. I don’t understand what I can’t see… plus it was really boring, taught by people who did not make it fun or exciting.

Health is like that. If it’s boring, unexciting and taught by people who are not good at sharing ideas, then you won’t take to it. You will make the wrong choices, believe the advertising and live with the idea that moderation is ok.

When it comes to my health and well-being, I want to be an A-student, (B+ on my holidays). Moderation means average (think just passing with a C). It means just getting by, not too excessive.

So as the instances of obesity, cancer, anxiety, depression and ADHD continue to rise and we continue our idea of moderation, we perpetuate a myth that is eroding society and destroying the well-being of the mainstream population.

I believe the idea of everything in moderation is just another clever marketing campaign designed to help us think we can have whatever we want most of the time, and we will be OK.

So, what is the opposite of Moderation? Well, according to a dictionary, it’s Extremism…

But the connotations of that word are linked with some terrible acts, so I want to propose the word Optimal instead.

Search: Optimal versus Moderate and see what you find!

The definition of Optimal is; best or most favourable; “seeking the optimal solution.”

If we have a mindset of Optimising our health versus having Moderate health, many of our worries and diseases could be managed far more cheaply and effectively.

So, what does Optimal Health look like? How do we Optimise our Health?

We start with the idea that we make predominately good decisions.

• We look at ways to reduce toxicity; in our diet, relationships and environment (home, work, neighbourhood).
• We consider our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health when making choices.
• We understand the physiological effects of stress on our body.
• We may indulge, yes, but those days are far less than the days we don’t.
• We consider the foods that we eat not in terms of the five food groups, but in terms of eating the rainbow with a variety of fresh foods with no labels.
• We consider the full impact of what we eat and drink in terms of our physical health (weight), gut health (microbiome) and mental health (food & drinks which wreak havoc on our neurotransmitters and ability to sleep well).
• We bend, stretch and move daily as we understand that our sedentary life-style is killing us. “Use it or lose it.”
• We recognise that we are role-models, and as we lean on convenience, make poor choices, sit too much, eat too much, drink too much and work too much, we are saying to our kids that it’s OK!
• We educate ourselves on the various aspects of health and well-being so that we can proactively optimise our health rather than reactively treat our health. “If you don’t make time for Wellness, you have to make time for Illness!”

 It’s not about positive body image versus poor body image, Fat versus Fit. It’s about understanding that we are responsible for our health and well-being and we can feel good on the inside and out, if we have an optimal and holistic approach to our health. And that is the message we should be sharing with the next generation.

The fundamental thing is that it’s so basic it’s almost boring!

So, the trick is to make it exciting, fun an adventure, and learn from a variety of stimulating and fun people. And listen to your Gut… It’s your second brain, and it’s sending you all kinds of messages all the time.

Take some time to digest what I’ve said. I really want people to start optimising their health.

All the information you need to do this is out there, free to consume and abundantly fresh.

You can join my Online Wellness School to educate yourself and hear from a variety of experts on health and well-being.  

https://krissy-regans-wellness-movement-mindful-mums-3.teachable.com/

Love and Health,

Krissy x

Peace, Love and Joy – three little words synonymous with Christmas. But what do they mean to you?

We talk about Peace in the context of war and world peace. True peace starts with peace from within. Peace to be your authentic self. Peace from the unhelpful thoughts and incessant monologue running through your head and the peace that comes with being in-tune with ourselves physically and spiritually. As I’ve cultivated peace within, my world is much more peaceful.

Love starts with loving ourselves first and then sharing that love with others. A mother’s love is intense, overwhelming and anxiety inducing. As I’ve practised loving myself, I feel a greater love for the world around me. I love having this deeper connection to other living things. I recognise that I’m part of an interconnected universe that is built on a frequency of love. If we fail to practise and cultivate love to ourselves, then this state of connectedness is tenuous and we get trapped in a negative cycle of fear.

Joy is a word I had a little connection with until a few years ago. But now, it’s all I hear. My appreciation of this word and my use of it has grown as I’ve practiced noticing, acknowledging and cultivating joy. When we seek joy, look for joy, notice joy, share joy, we create a ripple of joy that spreads to others. I think that joy shared is not joy halved. Joy shared multiples, and is contagious like a virus.

And what is the best part of these three little words? They are FREE!!!

The past two years have been so tough for people; physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally. If you didn’t achieve success by flipping and pivoting or survive home-schooling and remote working, you are probably limping into Christmas thinking let’s just get this over and done with… I get it!

So how can we go into the festive season with more peace, more love and more joy despite what kind of year you have had?

1. Understand that whatever happened you did your best? “When you know better, you do better.”

2. Appreciate all your efforts this year. Stop what you are doing right now and say to yourself; “I am so grateful to myself for all that I have done for my family this year!”

3. Write down five things that bought you Joy this year. Then share them with your family.

4. For the next 30 days; sit in a quiet place, place your hands on your heart and say to yourself: “May I be Safe, May I be Loved, May I be Healthy, May I live with Ease.”

5. When you notice an incessant dialogue running in your head say to yourself; “Is this helpful for me right now?” Then I invite you to find a piece of nature (tree, plant or animal) and appreciate it’s beauty. Just stop, breathe and appreciate that piece of nature. You can do this as many times a day as you need, to free yourself from constant thinking. You will feel more connected to yourself and the world around you as you stop thinking, and start noticing.

These five little rituals have changed my life… I’m peaceful, I’m loved and I feel joyful every day, regardless of my commitments and challenges. You may relate to this poem I wrote called Peace.

Writing poetry helps me make sense of my world. Since I wrote my first poem almost three years ago, I’ve written more than 50 poems focused on well-being. The first poem I wrote was called; What the Heck is Joy.

Curiosity has led me to ask the important questions through poetry. I have found the answers and insights I needed to overcome trauma, grief, poor health, low self-worth, over-thinking and feeling disconnected. You will find most of my poems on my website:

Take time this festive season to cultivate your own Peace, Love and Joy. Do not wait for it to be bestowed upon you. It’s a free gift you can give to yourself over and over.

Thank you for reading my articles this year. It brings me immense joy to write them and I hope that in some way I’ve helped you this year.

Love and Health,

Krissy xx

What have I learned in 2021? By me, Krissy Regan, The Wellness Poet.

Like many people, I’m my own harshest critic and I also constantly evaluate my performance!! So as the school year comes to a close, I thought I would share my warts and all musings and learnings of 2021, in the hope that they may ring true for you too… I’m certain I want to improve on my personal report card next Christmas!

Let’s start with some aged old wisdom!

• You can’t always get what you want!
• Rejection is God’s protection!!
• Dream bigger than you can imagine!
• The sky’s the limit!

So much helpful wisdom; so conflicting, so contrasting, so much pressure, so confusing!!

I flip between optimistic, pessimistic, realism and surrealism… Does this mean I have multiple personality disorder?

My husband may say YES! I say NO!

I sit firmly and pleasantly on a continuum of these, sliding back and forth as I see fit. What about you?

Energy ebbs and flows, much like passion, motivation and self-belief. BTW Santa Claus just walked past me as I write this…. No wonder life is so confusing for children, teenagers and adults!!

This past year has been an incredible learning experience for me. The list of stuff I’ve been learning about is very long and very varied.

Here’s a snapshot;

• I’m learning how to navigate being a school mum.
• Coaching 7-year-old’s to play touch football involves tears, tantrums and triumphs.
• Writing books and blogs that people want to read takes practise, consistency and bravery.
• Appreciating Esports and online gaming puts you in touch with the younger generation.
• Never hobbies I’ve pursued but mindful that the world is changing.
• Mastering online tools and platforms that make it easier to create, sell and distribute content all over the world is empowering.
• So many online things. I do like doing stuff face to face too.
• Being vulnerable enough to share my passion, but careful enough not to intimidate or scare people off can lead to self-sabotage.
• Apparently, I can be intimidating!!
• Sometimes we borrow ideas and refine them.
• Sometimes others borrow your ideas and refine them.
• A happy home is not happy or healthy without a lot of time spent outside in fresh air and nature.
• Being late is my issue…
• I hate being late, hate it when people are late and can’t stand it when people keep me waiting… it’s my issue and I’m learning to practise patience and boundaries.
• Friendship is a two-way street!
• It’s better to be in your own company than with people who don’t feel the same about you, as you do about them. Doormats are cheap and easy to replace.

I could go on for pages and pages… but in this year of learning, reflection and acceptance I’ve overcome some pretty big worries in my life and when I write about them, I solidify those lessons and develop a greater level of awareness and understanding.

I was once told I had poor self-awareness! Well, that sucks! But, now that my self-awareness is greater, I can see how that played out in my life and I’m mindful of it.

You can’t borrow, buy or hire validation. You must find it within, and then practise it daily.

I AM worthy!

Relationships are challenging on many levels, and personality traits can be very difficult to understand. Add Ego to that, and man, people cause each other so much grief and suffering.

It becomes much easier to recognise suffering when you are mindful of your own suffering.

Most suffering is self-inflicted…. YES we do it to ourselves because we can’t process, rationalise and learn from our experiences… We internalise, blame and hold on to all that which caused us to suffer. This is a waste of a good teachable moment, or to use really bad English, you lose the learnable moments if you live in this space.

Learnable Moments! I’m learning to love my learnable moments. When I see a learnable moment unfold in front of me, rather than happen to me; I think, WOW, now there is a really learnable moment that I should note, so next time I’m about to make that same mistake I can call on this moment.

I hope you’ve had some Learnable Moments this year. And that you can rationalise all that unfolded for you (good and bad) and process those experiences in a healthy way.

Apparently, God does not give us more than we can handle. So, if you feel like the hits just keep on coming. Just know that you are being sent as many learnable moments as you can handle.

My best-friend and I did an audit of our ups and downs over the past 2 decades, and acknowledged how many times we have been very down and very out. In contrast now, we are both apparently successful, have agency, and are living a life we both like. I do wonder what would have happened if we had not have had our setbacks and major blows. I’m sure they will come again – life and energy ebbs and flows.

So, from one self-confessed, impatient woman on a mission to self-actualise, I want to tell you it’s OK….

Ok to learn, fail, reinvent, reflect, rest and power on. I’m not waiting for others to catch up, I’m not hanging around waiting for validation. I’ve got places to be, things to do and stuff to learn!

Much love and learning to you in 2022!

Krissy xx

In this article for Kiddipedia I share some tips on how to make healthy decisions in uncertain times, including how to balance the needs of your stakeholders (your family)!

https://kiddipedia.com.au/decision-making-in-uncertain-times/

From 22-24th October, 27 lovely ladies from around North Queensland gathered together to Rest, Recharge and Reconnect.  It's a pleasure to host these events and to promote the great work of others.  My goal for each event is that women go home prioritising their health and well-being, feeling loved and valued for who they are, and all that they do in their life.  

Dates for 2022 Retreats in Airlie Beach and Mission Beach have now been set and further details will be shared soon.  For questions or to reserve your place, drop me an email at; [email protected]  

For now enjoy the highlights video of this most recent retreat.  

https://youtu.be/c_MHoYekZzY