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|Posted on August 3, 2021 at 12:20 AM|
Stepping into our life Adventure! By Krissy Regan, The Wellness Poet
I guess you could say that I’ve been quite adventurous in my life. This probably had something to do with growing up in the country-side with no kids my own age to play with and no modern games to entertain me. We had to make our own fun and while away the time. I spent days climbing trees, making cubby houses out of rocks and anything else I could find, and making up songs and poems on my home-made swing set. Often my parents wouldn’t see me all day until it was time to eat. We had to prepare all food from scratch including killing the animals. There was no dishwasher either, so many hours were spent washing and drying dishes day after day, after day, for up to 20 people in my home. I joke that I’ve worked in catering from the age of 3 when I first started helping my mum with little jobs while she took care of my new-born sister as well as her other kids and 5-15 men at any given time.
I went to boarding school when I was 11 which was good in some ways as I got to do more stuff, and be with kids my own age. And I guess leaving home at 11 prepares you for life on your own, when you become an adult. I moved out of home when I was 17 and essentially never went back other than to visit on holidays. I’ve had to fit in, make do, and look after myself for a very long time. I also had itchy feet and wanted to see the world. So, I did this too. I travelled alone a lot, and met people along the way. I took risks, made mistakes, made friends, made a success of my professional life and made many memories. So, by many people's standards I am “Adventurous”. However, to me, this is just stuff I have done in my life. I admit riding a motorbike in the mountains in Cambodia alone is a great adventure, as is sitting in coffee shops in Amsterdam reading books. It’s still just stuff I’ve done, not my soul purpose?
• What is my soul purpose in life?
• What could be the real adventure of my life?
• What is the most-scary, exhilarating, rewarding and life-affirming thing I can do in my life for myself?
• What is something I’ve always wanted to do but chickened out, gave up, or told myself I was not good enough to do?
Well to answer that last question I don’t need to travel, put my life in danger, leave my small kids alone or invest my life-savings!
The answer to that question is that; I want to be a Writer. To write stories, poems, songs, movies, books, blogs, tributes and so on…. Expressing myself with words… Wholly Crap, now that’s scary! That is a freakin’ adventure… That is something that gets my heart racing, my brain engaged and all my survival instincts turned on.
“Don’t Do it, you are not good enough!”
“Stop, no one will buy your work!”
“You will never follow through on that!”
“You won’t make any money doing that!”
“What will people say, if you start calling yourself a Writer?”
Oh Crap, this is a bad idea!
So, I could have put that thought to bed, forgot about my adventure but, I dreamed of long mornings in my PJ’s writing in my bed, sitting in coffee shops crafting my work, seeing my books in shops…
My brain was trying to keep my safe, the voices in my head were telling me to STOP, and stay in my comfort zone. I already had a successful career and made a decent living. I already had worked myself ragged in my 30s to buy a house and have my babies. So why change all that for the silly idea of being a Writer?
Because it’s my Adventure, my Soul purpose, the one thing I’ve always wanted to do since I was a child and not done… What does it matter if I fail? I’ve proven to myself that I can get a job and travel all over the world on my own.
- I don’t need to worry about failing at being a Writer.
- I just need to practice being a Writer and I will get better.
- Over time I will find my unique voice.
- What if I imagine success as a Writer and am not ashamed to share my passion with others?
- What if I work really hard and achieve my goal?
You can see how I could have talked myself out of my Adventure, but with patience and compassion I could also talk myself into it.
I realised I could still work to put food on the table and raise my family, but I could write too, and I could practice writing in many forms.
So, I did! I didn’t worry about the end goal, I just started practising for myself first. Then, when I felt brave, I shared it with others. Then something inside me started shifting… I had clarity, purpose, passion and I was driven. My comfort zone was expanding and I was not afraid to fail. I was afraid of success!
So, I practised not being afraid of success. To show up for myself, to put myself in situations where I had to talk about my work; I did radio interviews, newspaper interviews, tv interviews, live book launches, podcasts, public events. I literally threw myself to the lions and scared the pants off myself living my adventure and practising my writing…
Our adventure should push us to the edge of our comfort zone into our learning and growth zone. Here we can find purpose and meaning to our life. There are many days when you may wish to retreat to the safety of your comfort zone. You will also meet some unsupportive faces along the way to achieving your adventure. I know I did. Which is why I initially choose not to share my adventure with those closest to me. I had to test the waters with strangers. So, I told strangers I was a Writer! They did not question my ability, cast doubts on my goals or pigeon-hole me into their own biases of me. When I shared my writing with these new people I found immense support, compliments and encouragement. It gave me strength and confidence to move forward. I had to practise being good at writing the same way a golfer practices putting – daily!
In my life I’ve been fortunate, and unfortunate, to observe people who wanted to change career, pursue a passion or learn new skills and for whatever reason they did not… These people have inspired me to NOT do that. “It’s never too late to teach an old lady new tricks,” was my motto. I can learn all the skills I need to be a published writer. I can buy, outsource, make, or do whatever is needed for me to achieve my goal. There is no shame in getting help.
After the birth of my first child, I realised the days of travelling on long business trips was no longer my desire. I decided to go back to university, and get a new diploma, to enable me to have a “Safe, Stable Mum Job.” I went to the University of West London and did a Diploma in Procurement and Supply Chain Management. It was here I learnt some very valuable life lessons.
- All businesses have the choice to Buy, Outsource, Make or Do!
- Russian Roulette is a negotiation strategy which involves two bad options and you have to choose between the one that is less risky than the other but equally uncomfortable.
- The Cost-Price Iceberg Model applies to all aspects of our life. I’ve written articles about this for deciding how to say “Yes” and how to say “No” in our own life.
- I also learned that we can become very stressed trying to study, work, raise a small child and pass exams. We can talk ourselves into and out of trying, and we can talk ourselves into a situation where we become so stressed, we cannot function, we don’t even give ourselves permission to try.
I passed my Diploma and largely received good grades but man it was hard work. And after all that, did I find myself a Safe Mum Job? Absolutely not!
But all my new knowledge enabled me to negotiate with CEOs in boardrooms, and talk myself and many others into letting me train staff at Buckingham Palace… Something that was never on my list of "safe stuff" to do…. But still I was not living my adventure – I was helping others live theirs.
So, in 2019 I asked myself; “What is my Adventure?”
I did not force the answer, but I did apply the Cost-Price Iceberg Model many times in that year, and each time I said “No” to something others thought I should do, I bought myself time to figure it all out.
As I sit here now in August (the month of Adventure) in 2021, I’m a twice published author, nominated for both national and state literary awards. I have published dozens of articles, poems, blogs and will soon release my next two books. I am getting better at writing.
Recently someone I respect told me that I am a good writer. I said, “Thank you for saying that, it means a lot to me”. I have found my tone of voice, I have found an audience for my work, and I have found support in all four corners of the globe.
I love my adventure; it encapsulates all things that are important to me. 1. Helping People 2. Inspiring People. 3. Connecting with People. 4. Growing and Evolving. 5. Being a Role Model to my Children.
I’m very grateful for all the help, encouragement and support I’ve had in the past few years since I decide to say yes to my Adventure. But also, I know that through the power of intention setting, taking action, being consistent, and continued learning that the Universe is conspiring to help me achieve my goal. The Universe wants me to succeed. If I sit in my PJ’s not writing, but just waiting, the Universe has no desire to help me to succeed.
I have skills now I never knew existed. I have learnt software, systems and strategies that I was oblivious to in my professional life, but in my adventurous life they are my back office, my arsenal. The Face Makers saw that I was living my adventure regardless of their support. I had to stay strong when their facial expression made me feel doubtful, uncomfortable and unsupported. I was only doing this adventure for myself. For my own well-being, sense of achievement and future. I want to be the conductor of my own future and not stand around waiting for someone to come along and help me. It can be lonely, it can be uncomfortable but it's mine!
Your adventure may be different to mine. You may desire different things for your life. But each of us has a soul purpose, and it’s up to us to ignore it, or nurture it. In my case I couldn’t say No to real adventure any longer. I’m scared shitless every day that I may not succeed BUT what if I do… And this is the game of Russian Roulette; two risky options equally uncomfortable – you get to choose!
Goodluck with your adventure! I’m the voice in your head telling you to go for it. I’m the smiling face and the warm embrace when you feel unsupported. I’m the person that wishes great things for you!